Yes, I feel numb
so soon I'm going to succumb.
Yes, I'm full of dirt
& this will never convert.
Yes, I love my pain
whatever I try to feign.
Yes, I can certify
my body is going to mortify.
Yes, i'm suicidal
& this is my very ideal.
My Empty Heart"Fuck yourself bitch" you said
& That is the trigger
Which urges me to press the trigger
I was wrong
I thought you still have some love
Some kindness some passion
Some respect to memories
Memories used to be better
But I was wrong
You have turned my memories bitter
I'm looking at the gun barrel
Looking for the exit
Cursing the day we met in twitter
I'm staring at the shining bullets
They are cold
Comparing with your cold heart they are better
They'll take your place in my heart
Oh my heart
Already nothing remained just litter
Why the hour doesn't come?I'm less worthy than the lonely flower
Bloomed early in the winter
But buried alive in the snow
Disappointed it's sower
Water freezes in leafs, & petals cower.
O surgeon take your hand off my heart
I have no more power
I'm saying goodbye
Like the sun in my horizon.
Like desert cut hope of empty clouds
I can't exhale the pain
Out off my chest
I'm just waiting my hour.
It is timeIf I committed suicide right now
& decided to disappear
Who would know or care?
I would get lost among thousands
Who commit suicide every day
Who would shed a tear?
I could be few words in the journal
In a corner beside the feuilleton
The words could not be even clear
Someone could mention me
In the internet & say
She well did by killing herself
She already was a sear
Nobody loved her or wanted her
She was always stepped aside
Or thrown away to the rear.
It is time to say enough
It is time to tighten the noose
& get rid of this disgraceful fear.
Mother earth hug me, I'm jumpingEverything has reached to the top
I thing it's the time
It will be exciting to taste the drop
Wait a minute & tell me
What is my crop?
Have I gain anything
Except this eternal flop?
What would I miss?
Eating the crap sop?
Or wearing my dirty slop?
What would I miss?
Betrayal? cheating? loneliness?
All this shit must stop
& off this edge it's time
To make my final hop
Do you hear the same voice?I wonder
Does anyone hear the same appeal
It says: It's time to reveal
It encourages me
To lock myself in the bath
Take a razor & sketch my path
It emboldens to take a rope
To block the veins till I dope
It heartens me to drown in bathtub
& stop looking through a tube
I'm just consuming others oxygen
This is not accepted by any religion
I'm just a wet blanket
So shooting my heart shall fix it
Divorce me for herGo a head, it's very warm
Enjoy between your whore's arms
One day she will cheat you
Just like you have cheated
You will feel how I was beated
Don't look for my love anymore
Seek it with your whore
I removed your love off my heart
Cause you were a rotten wart
I replaced your love
With my loyal dagger
My heart is welcoming it
It's not a dodger
I will lay on my chest
& fix the dagger beneath
Letting my chest be its sheath
The end of the whorePeople call me any dirty name
I understand, only myself blame.
They always call me freak
I know because I look bleak.
They point to me:
(That woman is very bad)
who cares if I'm sad.
People call me piece of shit
& they directly to my face spit.
They call me witch, bitch, & whore
They deeply in my heart gore.
They really love seeing me gone
I will obey & use my gun
TONIGHT, the mission will be done.
Dressed to kill*TOOOOT.. TOOOOT .. TOOOOTT*
The timer rang
telling me it's 1 am.
But I already couldn't sleep
I wore my black satin nighty
put on my make up
& loaded my gun.
I signed in skype
to say goodbye to my friend.
He doesn't know my plan
so he said:
"WOW! you dressed to kill"
"EXACTLY!" I replied.
Then I went to the bathroom
& locked myself ..
*silence .. *
Creepypasta Fandom in a Nutshell. (NOW NARRATED!)Creepypasta, creepypasta
Serve me up some creepypasta
Give me a side of scary story
With a dash of blood and gorey
Don't forget to add the raging fangirls
And of course don't forget the ranting ant hills
Never forget the sexualized psychopaths
The Mary Sues and the wannable crazy laughs
The endless hoodie wearing OC's
The neverending monochrome copies
The horribly drawn webcam art,
That looks like a 5 year olds fart
Add in a pinch of sexism,
Because any female character will be put into a prism
Don't forget to add the elitism too,
Because if you don't follow the exact rules creepypasta wiki will reject you
Forget putting any real effort into any OC,
Because the popular ones were made in just 3
Minutes, that is
You don't even need a real story
Just make one up or copy from Toby
Forget any effort at all, just give it some abs and make it stand tall
I Saved MyselfYesterday:
You saw my cut up wrist,
Gave it a kiss,
And told me everything
Would be okay.
It is not yesterday.
You are not here.
But I am okay.
I run with my own strength.
There is a weight
You asked me to hold.
(Just for a while,
Just for a while.)
My tendons strain and snap,
I lack your Atlas strength.
The crushing force of gravity
Makes me weak, makes me sore.
Take it back, take it back,
But you’ve gone away.
I’m sinking down, I’m sinking down.
The water rises to my throat.
Pushing down, rising up
Drowning and drowning and drowning.
Take it back, please take it back,
Where have you gone?
I’m pinned beneath this weight,
With water to my nose.
My lungs fill up with salt,
Choking and screaming and breathing
Only freezing thickness of water.
Where is that mild friend oxygen?
Where has he gone?
My stinging eyes are blind here.
I cannot to escape, unwilling
To shed this leaden snare
Wherein I dwell confined.
I grip it tightly.
Surely I will die,
Sweet air has left my blood
I lay back and let black water take me,
Frozen fingers loosen on Your weight.
And all at once
it falls away
I watch i
I Find MyselfI find myself in my bedroom walls,
Silent and ever watchful.
I find myself in the worn living room floors,
Beaten down until used to it.
I find myself underneath my bed,
Understanding that I am my own monster.
I find myself looking at the door,
Wondering when it will open.
I find myself peeping through the window,
But night leaves nothing in my sight.
I find myself in old conversations,
My heart finally still.
I find myself stamped into black words,
Wishing for white paint.
I find myself in moonlight,
And beg for the sun.
I find myself in a dream,
After all of this nightmare.
I find myself crying,
Because you are still there.
I find myself hoping that this,
This is the last time.
I find myself turning from you,
There is no use lying.
I find myself smiling,
I find myself a lost cause,
I always find myself
Waiting for you.
School is endingGood bye, dear school,
Good bye, and thank you
For all knowledges you gave
Good bye, dear school yard,
Good bye, and remember -
Our memories will stay with you
Good bye, dear teachers,
Good bye, and please -
Keep pieces of our souls
In your hands.
Bring our past,
Bring our childhood
And share with sucessors
poetry i should not be writing at four a.m.i will love you until it hurts and even past that,
until my chest aches with the thought of
your eyelashes and every bit of your life
has been written on my skin.
i will be your pillar of strength. i will love you
after it hurts and after i grow numb and grow apart
and we find ourselves on opposite sides of the country,
like branches on a tree that grew bigger
than we could ever imagine.
i will keep your city circled on every map i place
on the walls of my room, like a reminder
and a to do list and a promise all in one. you have
etched yourself into every corner
of my brain and i have stopped trying
to catch myself thinking about you because
most days my thoughts are running too fast
to ever even catch up with
and they always seem to lead back to you.
and right now my veins are only half blood
and half holy so i know this isn’t a poem
that needs to be written but i also know
already that if i don’t get this out, tomorrow
morning i will be crouched in front
of a toilet bowl
The Girl Who Was Afraid To BeShe speaks to me fondly
of passions and talents,
of guitars and stars,
with such breathless intensity
then stops short and
for speaking at all.
All because somewhere in her life,
someone she loved broke her heart
her beautiful words
and telling her to
keep it down,
People aren’t born sad.
We make them that way.
This Is Borderline Personality DisorderAnd I'll tell you what it means.
It's like spoonful of sugar,
full of empathy.
With a nasty side effect
of manipulative feelings.
It's saying and doings things
that aren't always right.
It's making many negative conversations
into colossal fights.
It becomes a controversy within,
when you suffer
from a sorry sense of abandonment.
Though you're not always sure
who to blame,
because it's you who's pushing
It's impulses pulsating like a bomb
within your chest.
And you're the sorry engineer
who has no idea
which button to press.
This is a relationship that's as stable
as water running through
Like ashes falling through
a fire's dying embers.
It's walking through a Garden of Eden
with a mass called suicide.
He taps his hand on your shoulder,
and whispers, “why don't you just
close your eyes?”
It's putting that form in the mouths
of your friends.
Begging them to say the words
because you know you can't.
It's using it yourself when you get
I couldn't see the consequences-
As I tried to trust my heart
I just couldn't resist-
The blind love that ceased my wars
Helping me let go of the struggles-
That I foolishly held in my hands
I freed the thoughts that quarreled-
Tears fell in order for me to stand
Truth can be the worst enemy
Lies can be the strongest ally
Harmony isn't immune to tragedy
Because you made a myth out of your apparent humanity
Mistakes can never be renamed! / Scars can never be erased!
Compassion is used as bait! / Two sides to every face!
A piece of peace is caged! / Watch the bridge burn away!
I'll desecrate the meaning of “passion”
You redefined my every moral
There will be no hesitation
I won't need anyone -anymore-
I ignored the risks-
Of handing over my hope
Killed by a kiss-
Turning my world to stone
I believed in your deceit-
And I fell too hard
My mind endlessly screams-