My Empty Heart"Fuck yourself bitch" you said& That is the triggerWhich urges me to press the triggerI was wrongI thought you still have some loveSome kindness some passionSome respect to memoriesMemories used to be betterBut I was wrongYou have turned my memories bitterI'm looking at the gun barrelLooking for the exitCursing the day we met in twitterI'm staring at the shining bulletsThey are coldComparing with your cold heart they are betterThey'll take your place in my heartOh my heartAlready nothing remained just litter
Why the hour doesn't come?I'm less worthy than the lonely flowerBloomed early in the winterBut buried alive in the snowDisappointed it's sowerWater freezes in leafs, & petals cower.O surgeon take your hand off my heartI have no more powerI'm saying goodbyeLike the sun in my horizon.Like desert cut hope of empty cloudsI can't exhale the painOut off my chestI'm just waiting my hour.
It is timeIf I committed suicide right now& decided to disappearWho would know or care?I would get lost among thousandsWho commit suicide every dayWho would shed a tear?I could be few words in the journalIn a corner beside the feuilletonThe words could not be even clearSomeone could mention meIn the internet & sayShe well did by killing herselfShe already was a searNobody loved her or wanted herShe was always stepped asideOr thrown away to the rear.It is time to say enoughIt is time to tighten the noose& get rid of this disgraceful fear.
Shooting meDon't worryI didn't buy the gun to use it on youDeath is a gift& you don't deserve it.
Mother earth hug me, I'm jumpingEverything has reached to the topI thing it's the timeIt will be exciting to taste the dropWait a minute & tell meWhat is my crop?Have I gain anythingExcept this eternal flop?What would I miss?Eating the crap sop?Or wearing my dirty slop?What would I miss?Betrayal? cheating? loneliness?All this shit must stop& off this edge it's timeTo make my final hop
Do you hear the same voice?I wonderDoes anyone hear the same appealIt says: It's time to revealIt encourages meTo lock myself in the bathTake a razor & sketch my pathIt emboldens to take a ropeTo block the veins till I dopeIt heartens me to drown in bathtub& stop looking through a tubeI'm just consuming others oxygenThis is not accepted by any religionI'm just a wet blanketSo shooting my heart shall fix it
Divorce me for herGo a head, it's very warmEnjoy between your whore's armsOne day she will cheat youJust like you have cheatedYou will feel how I was beatedDon't look for my love anymoreSeek it with your whoreI removed your love off my heartCause you were a rotten wartI replaced your loveWith my loyal daggerMy heart is welcoming itIt's not a dodgerI will lay on my chest& fix the dagger beneathLetting my chest be its sheath
The end of the whorePeople call me any dirty nameI understand, only myself blame.They always call me freakI know because I look bleak.They point to me:(That woman is very bad)who cares if I'm sad.People call me piece of shit& they directly to my face spit.They call me witch, bitch, & whoreThey deeply in my heart gore.They really love seeing me goneI will obey & use my gunTONIGHT, the mission will be done.
Dressed to kill*TOOOOT.. TOOOOT .. TOOOOTT* The timer rangtelling me it's 1 am.But I already couldn't sleepI wore my black satin nightyput on my make up& loaded my gun.I signed in skypeto say goodbye to my friend.He doesn't know my planso he said:"WOW! you dressed to kill""EXACTLY!" I replied.Then I went to the bathroom& locked myself ..*BANG!!!!!* *silence .. *
PerfectionYour ego wants.It is sometimes disguisedas your heartor your mind.butYOU don't want.you simply A R EYour worldly desires tell youthat you could bericherprettierhappierwhen everything you needyou already have.
if only for the night.she did notwant love, she wantedthorns twisted in hersteel fingersdigging into thesharp metal. sheneeded to b r e a kpeople. and she hadthe devil in hereyes and death onher skin:a walkingdisaster. shetasted likedanger incarnated;i knew by theway she wrapped herhands around mywrists she coulddestroy me. sn / ap mybones at will butshe never did andthe blue of her eyesdrownedme inchangingtides ofliquid fire. we spent one nightstaring at theceiling tracingconstellationson paper-skin andpretending to beartists of the universejust to feelalive.(before she left welay side by side at dawn withour chests splintered.)
A world of porcelain peopleWe live ina world fullof prettyfaçades; everyoneis a livingmasqueradein thisday and age:pick up yoursmiling faceat daybreak anddrape it over theviolet stainsbeneath youreyelids;walk aroundaimlessly -we are allsleepwalkers,eyes open butclosed.we are all pretty porcelain peopleliving in a pretty porcelain worldand our masksare startingto crack.(and reveal the ugly truth)
LightLight pooled in the floes of her fleshthe warm tone of polluted amberit ran down the window,the stream broken in places by silhouettesand other such distractionsit spilled, soundlessand flooded silken sheetssetting adrift the skin and breath and whispers of herMachiavellian schemesto steal away into the polluted darkher sighs overflowed, sonorouspouring into the amber and blackthe constellations dotted along herdisrupted in places by the shadows of treesand other such poetry
stardust. (you're beautiful)he'sout of orbit -interstellar spacedust in hisveins rise andfall witheach word thatdrips and poolsbeneath hishoneyed tongue;silenceis betweenhis knuckle-bones,sharp anddefined like theribcage of ababy bird, hismazarine eyeswere not made forthis earth butfor the stars.andsome days hefades in andout of reality likehe never reallywanted to be thereat all.on those daysi just thinkmy god, you really don'trealise how amazing you are.
Depression Isn't RealDepression isn’t true, my dearDepression isn’t real.It’s just a silly tragedyYou’ve forced yourself to feel.Anxiety is fake, my friendYou wonder why it’s there.But others have it worse than you!Stop forming false despair.Cutting is dramatic, love,It’s ugly, and it’s dumb.Why not just get over it?Is the attention fun?Suicide is stupid, dear,And selfish, if I may.Get over yourself, darling,Can you hear these things I say?Why aren’t you replying, love?Oh, where could you have gone?I never meant to hurt you, love,Did I say something wrong?Why aren’t you replying, dear?Depression isn’t true!…Oh, but yes it was, “my dear”...Just maybe not for you.
DisappearSometimes, when I'm sadI remember that one time,All I had to worry about wasIf the bubbles I had blown, were about toDisappear.Sometimes, when I'm sadI remember that one time,I began to worry about the day thatMy childhood would simplyDisappear.Sometimes, when I'm sadI remember that some day,When I'm sitting with my husbandIn the old old house... my days will simplyDisappear.And that day,The day when my heartbeat isSilenced...The day when my breathTruly gets taken away.That's the dayWhen my worries, my concerns, my fears...Will simply... Disappear.
Porcelain I was porcelainI trusted you to hold meI would shine for youPolished to perfectionI was porcelainYou were a childCarelessYou didn't know what you heldYou let me fallDidn't care when I shatteredYou were a childI was porcelainBegging to be fixedBattered and brokenI was helplessI was porcelainYou were a childYou left me thereShattered on the floorPretending it didn't happenPretending it wasn't youYou were a childI was porcelainAnd you were a careless childOne day I hope you realizeYou didn't know what you heldYou broke the family heirloomI hope you regret it
For My PeopleAs far as I can recall:I did not ask to be birthedInto a cycle of stagnation.I did not ask to be told,That my dreams are achievable;Only to see them limited by the scope of reality.I did not ask for a failing system,Passed unto me by half-dead corpses wearing suits.Nodding eagerly at one another,As they wait for an inevitable death.This I did not ask for,And I am certain that most of you did not either.But it is for that reason,And for that reason alone, I say:That it is up to us,We siblings bound by the chains of our forefathers,To create a system that is better,Than the bitter shackles of the past.Justice is what I long for.Justice for MY people.
My feelingYes, I feel numbso soon I'm going to succumb.Yes, I'm full of dirt& this will never convert.Yes, I love my painwhatever I try to feign.Yes, I can certifymy body is going to mortify.Yes, i'm suicidal& this is my very ideal.