My Empty Heart"Fuck yourself bitch" you said& That is the triggerWhich urges me to press the triggerI was wrongI thought you still have some loveSome kindness some passionSome respect to memoriesMemories used to be betterBut I was wrongYou have turned my memories bitterI'm looking at the gun barrelLooking for the exitCursing the day we met in twitterI'm staring at the shining bulletsThey are coldComparing with your cold heart they are betterThey'll take your place in my heartOh my heartAlready nothing remained just litter
Why the hour doesn't come?I'm less worthy than the lonely flowerBloomed early in the winterBut buried alive in the snowDisappointed it's sowerWater freezes in leafs, & petals cower.O surgeon take your hand off my heartI have no more powerI'm saying goodbyeLike the sun in my horizon.Like desert cut hope of empty cloudsI can't exhale the painOut off my chestI'm just waiting my hour.
It is timeIf I committed suicide right now& decided to disappearWho would know or care?I would get lost among thousandsWho commit suicide every dayWho would shed a tear?I could be few words in the journalIn a corner beside the feuilletonThe words could not be even clearSomeone could mention meIn the internet & sayShe well did by killing herselfShe already was a searNobody loved her or wanted herShe was always stepped asideOr thrown away to the rear.It is time to say enoughIt is time to tighten the noose& get rid of this disgraceful fear.
Shooting meDon't worryI didn't buy the gun to use it on youDeath is a gift& you don't deserve it.
Mother earth hug me, I'm jumpingEverything has reached to the topI thing it's the timeIt will be exciting to taste the dropWait a minute & tell meWhat is my crop?Have I gain anythingExcept this eternal flop?What would I miss?Eating the crap sop?Or wearing my dirty slop?What would I miss?Betrayal? cheating? loneliness?All this shit must stop& off this edge it's timeTo make my final hop
Do you hear the same voice?I wonderDoes anyone hear the same appealIt says: It's time to revealIt encourages meTo lock myself in the bathTake a razor & sketch my pathIt emboldens to take a ropeTo block the veins till I dopeIt heartens me to drown in bathtub& stop looking through a tubeI'm just consuming others oxygenThis is not accepted by any religionI'm just a wet blanketSo shooting my heart shall fix it
Divorce me for herGo a head, it's very warmEnjoy between your whore's armsOne day she will cheat youJust like you have cheatedYou will feel how I was beatedDon't look for my love anymoreSeek it with your whoreI removed your love off my heartCause you were a rotten wartI replaced your loveWith my loyal daggerMy heart is welcoming itIt's not a dodgerI will lay on my chest& fix the dagger beneathLetting my chest be its sheath
The end of the whorePeople call me any dirty nameI understand, only myself blame.They always call me freakI know because I look bleak.They point to me:(That woman is very bad)who cares if I'm sad.People call me piece of shit& they directly to my face spit.They call me witch, bitch, & whoreThey deeply in my heart gore.They really love seeing me goneI will obey & use my gunTONIGHT, the mission will be done.
Dressed to kill*TOOOOT.. TOOOOT .. TOOOOTT* The timer rangtelling me it's 1 am.But I already couldn't sleepI wore my black satin nightyput on my make up& loaded my gun.I signed in skypeto say goodbye to my friend.He doesn't know my planso he said:"WOW! you dressed to kill""EXACTLY!" I replied.Then I went to the bathroom& locked myself ..*BANG!!!!!* *silence .. *
You are StrongYou are so, so strong.Whatever you’re going through,Just keep onKeeping on.The time it takesMight be short or long,But you will findThat perfect placeWhere you belong.Just hold on.
The Words you Don't want to HearBy the time,You read this...
It's Okay to be SelfishSometimes, you have to do things just for yourself.And that’s okay.Sometimes you’ve got to stay in bed,Empty your head,And think of all the nice thingsYou've ever had saidTo you.And that’s okay.Sometimes you’ve got to cry,Scream like you’re going to die,And just lieAround, being sad.And that’s okay.Sometimes you’ve got to shut everything out,Just forget aboutWhat you want to be without.And that’s okay.Sometimes you’ve got to talk,Just let the words walkOut of your mouth,Carrying your thoughts with them.And that’s okay.Sometimes you’ve got be selfish.And that’s okay -You do whatever it takes,To get you through the day.
That's So Gay"That's so gay,"Is what you say,But silently,You've pushed oneOf your friends away."Oh no, honey,Boys don't playWith Barbie dolls."By enforcing gender roles,You are killingYour kids,And telling themThat you'll love them no matter what**Conditions apply.Don't push your loved onesAwayWith things you do or say,Because words hurt;But they hurt mostFrom the mouths ofThe people that told you,They'd always love you.Saying, "that's so gay",Or making them behaveIn a gendered way,Is telling themThat it's not okayTo be somethingThey can't help.(And even if they could,Why wouldIt matter?)And it will hurt themForever,And every time you're together,They'll be wondering;"Am I wrong?""Do I really belong?"Every time you say something like,"That's so gay",You burn someone's trust away.And you can't build anything backFrom ash.
My Mother Found a Suicide NoteI'm going to paintthese white walls redwith a loaded gunand the pull of a trigger.Say goodbye to allof my worries and insecuritiesand add another notch to my razor.Another handful of pillsto take away the painand the lies of yesterday.Inhale the poisonto quicken the diseasethat's slowly killing me.Allow the numbnessto run through my bloodstreamand silence my demons.My body is becoming coldand I cannot feel a thing anymore.The white walls are red,my razor has another notch,the lies of yesterday are gone,the disease has reached my heart,and my demons are quiet.I'm home.
The Third DeathFor RonThe first deathturns your bodyinto the grassand trees,every breath of air you hadsent sprinting like childrenacross the blue-sky meadow.The second deathis when the laughterand champagne-gold connectionsquiet into sparks.Illuminating our citiesfor as long as us.The third deathis when your actions stophaving impact.It is never,it is when post-heat velvetbursts into a new cosmic flower.Breathtaking anicca.Every kiss, every laugh,all those tears-they turn the Sun.Every laugh of inkthat bursts from our pens-that is the immortal part of us.Life, this ball of beauty-chaos,it is to be cherished.You gave usso many flowers.May their petals live forever.
A Letter To The Girl Who Hates Her BodyA letter to the girl who hates her body.A letter to that girlWho scrolls through tumblr.Admiring all of those models.With thigh gaps that look cute with skirts.And a waist that you can barely see.You're beautifulA letter to the girlWho looks at models,For their curves.The way their hips go outwardsAnd their size D cup breasts.You're beautiful.Please don't look in the mirror,And hate the girl you see.That girl is youAnd she should be loved unconditionally.Because you deserve love.And how much love is not determined on your waist size,Whether you're chubby or skinnyYou're still so very pretty.You're so perfect.So for every time you look in that mirror.And tell yourself you aren't worth it.That you're arms are too big,Your hips aren't big enough.Stop.Tell yourself.I am a woman.A lady.I am strong.I have a body like a castle.A kingdom made just for me.And I will not destroy that castle,By trying to starve myself.By taking brick by brick and dismantling it
The Girl Who Was Afraid To BeShe speaks to me fondlyof passions and talents,of guitars and stars,with such breathless intensitythen stops short andapologisesfor speaking at all.All because somewhere in her life,someone she loved broke her heartby ignoringher beautiful wordsand telling her toshut up,keep it down,nobody cares.People aren’t born sad.We make them that way.
I'm SorryI'm sorryThe only way I can live in good conscience, is knowing that I'll makeevery breath I takeWorth every breath you'll never breathe
My feelingYes, I feel numbso soon I'm going to succumb.Yes, I'm full of dirt& this will never convert.Yes, I love my painwhatever I try to feign.Yes, I can certifymy body is going to mortify.Yes, i'm suicidal& this is my very ideal.