Sweetcidal

"Fuck yourself bitch" you said & That is the trigger Which urges me to press the trigger I was wrong I thought you still have some love Some kindness some passion Some respect to memories Memories used to be better But I was wrong You have turned my memories bitter I'm looking at the gun barrel Looking for the exit Cursing the day we met in twitter I'm staring at the shining bullets They are cold Comparing with your cold heart they are better They'll take your place in my heart Oh my heart Already nothing remained just litter

I'm less worthy than the lonely flower Bloomed early in the winter But buried alive in the snow Disappointed it's sower Water freezes in leafs, & petals cower. O surgeon take your hand off my heart I have no more power I'm saying goodbye Like the sun in my horizon. Like desert cut hope of empty clouds I can't exhale the pain Out off my chest I'm just waiting my hour.

If I committed suicide right now & decided to disappear Who would know or care? I would get lost among thousands Who commit suicide every day Who would shed a tear? I could be few words in the journal In a corner beside the feuilleton The words could not be even clear Someone could mention me In the internet & say She well did by killing herself She already was a sear Nobody loved her or wanted her She was always stepped aside Or thrown away to the rear. It is time to say enough It is time to tighten the noose & get rid of this disgraceful fear.

Don't worry I didn't buy the gun to use it on you Death is a gift & you don't deserve it.

Everything has reached to the top I thing it's the time It will be exciting to taste the drop Wait a minute & tell me What is my crop? Have I gain anything Except this eternal flop? What would I miss? Eating the crap sop? Or wearing my dirty slop? What would I miss? Betrayal? cheating? loneliness? All this shit must stop & off this edge it's time To make my final hop

I wonder Does anyone hear the same appeal It says: It's time to reveal It encourages me To lock myself in the bath Take a razor & sketch my path It emboldens to take a rope To block the veins till I dope It heartens me to drown in bathtub & stop looking through a tube I'm just consuming others oxygen This is not accepted by any religion I'm just a wet blanket So shooting my heart shall fix it

Go a head, it's very warm Enjoy between your whore's arms One day she will cheat you Just like you have cheated You will feel how I was beated Don't look for my love anymore Seek it with your whore I removed your love off my heart Cause you were a rotten wart I replaced your love With my loyal dagger My heart is welcoming it It's not a dodger I will lay on my chest & fix the dagger beneath Letting my chest be its sheath

People call me any dirty name I understand, only myself blame. They always call me freak I know because I look bleak. They point to me: (That woman is very bad) who cares if I'm sad. People call me piece of shit & they directly to my face spit. They call me witch, bitch, & whore They deeply in my heart gore. They really love seeing me gone I will obey & use my gun TONIGHT, the mission will be done.

*TOOOOT.. TOOOOT .. TOOOOTT* The timer rang telling me it's 1 am. But I already couldn't sleep I wore my black satin nighty put on my make up & loaded my gun. I signed in skype to say goodbye to my friend. He doesn't know my plan so he said: "WOW! you dressed to kill" "EXACTLY!" I replied. Then I went to the bathroom & locked myself .. *BANG!!!!!* *silence .. *

Yes, I feel numb so soon I'm going to succumb. Yes, I'm full of dirt & this will never convert. Yes, I love my pain whatever I try to feign. Yes, I can certify my body is going to mortify. Yes, i'm suicidal & this is my very ideal.